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I Stopped Cleaning up After My Husband (What to DO!)

I Stopped Cleaning up After My Husband (What to DO!)

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Have you stopped cleaning up after your husband?

Or perhaps you want to stop cleaning up after him but can’t bring yourself to?

You shouldn’t feel bad about not cleaning up after your husband if he expects you to or doesn’t appreciate your efforts.

It can be frustrating when your husband doesn’t clean up after himself.

Whether it’s leaving his dirty socks on the floor or failing to put away his dishes, it seems like he’s always making a mess.

Women aren’t – or shouldn’t be – expected to clean up after their spouse in this day and age.

Let’s dive in.

Why do you clean up after your husband?

The most common reason that women cook for their husbands is that they saw their mothers do so, and it is natural for children to mimic their parents.

Another reason is that they believe it is their “duty” as wives.

And I understand.

Personally, I do not believe it is a duty of any kind.

I believe that the only reason someone should take charge of the cleaning – or any other chore – is because they want to.

Or if it makes the most sense for the home’s functioning because you’re home all day and your husband works.

So, why do you (or did you) do the majority of the cleaning in your home? Take a few moments to really answer this question.

If you do it because you thought it was expected of you, it must have become a chore, right?

This is completely normal, and it is the main reason why so many women lose interest in cleaning.

You might find it interesting: Why Am I so Clingy to my Boyfriend? 5 Possible Reasons and What to Do

What to do when your husband doesn’t clean up after himself?


It can be frustrating when your husband doesn’t seem to care about keeping the house clean.


It’s everywhere when you live with a messy partner. If you’ve been asking your husband repeatedly to clean up after himself and he still doesn’t, it can be infuriating.

After all, you’re not his mother. You shouldn’t have to nag him to pick up his socks or put his dishes in the dishwasher.

But what can you do when your husband is a slob?

There are a few things you can do to try and change his behavior.

First, try to have a conversation with him about the issue. Tell him how cluttered the house is making you feel and why it’s important to you that he pitch in and help keep things tidy.

If that doesn’t work, there are a few other things you can do.

Start by picking up after him yourself, but make sure to point out what you’re doing as you’re doing it.

For example, say something like, “I noticed your socks on the floor, so I picked them up and put them in the hamper for you.”

Hopefully, he’ll get the message that you’re not going to keep doing his laundry for him forever.

Another option is to give him specific tasks to do each day, such as taking out the trash or doing the dishes.

You might like: 15+ Comebacks for Go Back to the Kitchen

Is it normal for me to be cleaning up after my husband?


No, it isn’t “normal.”

What it does show is that he has probably never learned to clean up after himself and has always relied on others to clean up his messes.

You should be concerned about such behavior because it demonstrates a pattern that will be prevalent throughout his life of failing to recognize that his every action ALWAYS has consequences.

If he can’t (or won’t) deal with something as simple as his own dirty laundry, you should be worried about what else he’s not dealing with and how it might affect you.

So, my advice is to leave his dirty clothes right where he lets them fall.

DO NOT pick up after him! He will eventually realize he is out of clean clothes.

When he inquires, point to the laundry basket, pick up a shirt he has discarded, hand it to him, and demonstrate how to place it in the laundry basket.

Then take him and the laundry basket into the laundry room and demonstrate how to use the washing machine and dryer.

So tell him it’s time for him to reclaim some control over the consequences of his own actions, and that control starts with his dirty laundry.

If he does learn, he will be surprised at how much better his life will run and how good it will feel to be empowered and in control of his own life once more.

And he’ll thank you one day for teaching him how to clean up after himself.

You might find it interesting: Why Am I so Tired Around my Boyfriend? 5 Possible Reasons

Communication can resolve (almost) everything

If you’re unhappy with the current state of affairs in your home, I strongly advise you to discuss it with your husband.

It could be related to cleaning, as I discussed in this article, but it could also be a sign of other underlying issues.

Nothing will change unless you communicate what you want and need from him.

I understand how difficult it is to discuss such a sensitive subject with some men.

However, it will be worthwhile in the long run.

After the conversation (which is unlikely to go very far without some name-calling and serious disagreement), it is time to find common ground.

If you are constantly cleaning up after your spouse, you must stop. Otherwise, you are simply condoning the behavior.

Decide not to do anything else for a week that involves cleaning up after your messy partner. And don’t.

They’ll be able to see how much you do and how messy they are at the end of the week.

If you don’t talk about it, your only options are to stop cleaning up after him and face the consequences head-on, or to suffer in silence.

Neither of these are viable options.

So, whether you want to clean or not, whether you want to clean up after your husband in the future or not, you can find a happy medium if you talk about it openly!

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