Does Unconditional Love Exist, a New Way of Thinking
Unconditional love. Sounds amazing, right? Like the stuff of fairytales, rom-coms, and Hallmark cards. But is it real?
People say they love unconditionally. Parents. Partners. Even pets. But scratch the surface, and you’ll see conditions everywhere.
Love me, but don’t betray me. Love me, but don’t change too much. Love me, but make me feel good about myself.
I, too, have thought that I loved unconditionally, but I’ve met my limits more than once in three failed relationships, and each time, it shook me up. It made me question if I was being selfish, and it made me question whether I love hard enough.
What do you think? Does it exist, or is it just me? Is it just another human invention, like soulmates or one-size-fits-all?
Maybe the real question isn’t whether it exists. Maybe the question is whether we’re capable of giving it. Or better yet, whether we even deserve it.
Table of Contents
What Is Unconditional Love?
Unconditional love. It’s the idea of loving someone without any strings attached. No matter what they do, say, or become, your love remains steadfast. It’s about accepting someone entirely, flaws and all, without expecting anything in return. Think of a parent’s love for their child—often cited as the purest form of this love.
But let’s be real. In the messy world of human relationships, is this even possible? We all have expectations, boundaries, and limits. Loving someone unconditionally sounds noble, but it can be a tall order. After all, we’re only human. And humans come with conditions. Right?
Is Unconditional Love Possible?
Is unconditional love possible? The honest answer? Maybe. But it’s rare. We’re wired for survival, not sainthood. Most of us love with conditions because conditions protect us. They keep us from getting hurt, used, or taken for granted.
Even the “purest” love—like a parent for their child—has limits. Harm their other kids? Cross a boundary too far? Love doesn’t always survive. And that’s okay.
Unconditional love sounds perfect, but maybe perfection isn’t real. Maybe the best love is flawed, messy, and beautifully human.
Do We Deserve It?
Here’s the thing…we’re all flawed. Imperfect. Messy. We lie. We hurt each other. We screw up. And yet, we crave unconditional love like it’s a basic human right. But do we really deserve it? Maybe. Maybe not.
Even if we did, is it healthy? Loving someone no matter how toxic or harmful they are? That’s not love. That’s self-destruction. Boundaries matter. Expectations matter. Unconditional love might sound beautiful, but in practice, it’s a slippery slope.
Sometimes, the healthiest love is the kind that comes with conditions. Conditions that protect both you and them. Or could we be destined to love them unconditionally yet not be together?
A New Way of Thinking
Unconditional love isn’t about ignoring who someone is or what they do. It’s about seeing them for who they truly are and loving them anyway.
The truth is unconditional love doesn’t thrive in chaos. It thrives when both people take responsibility for the conditions they place on themselves. For me, it’s about being true to the conditions I have set to love someone unconditionally, when they have set conditions to love me unconditionally.
When they love themselves, respect the relationship, and create an environment where love can flourish. It’s a mutual understanding, to be honest and respectful about the relationship.
Loving unconditionally doesn’t mean tolerating toxicity, abuse, neglect, or disrespect. It’s not about being a doormat. Boundaries are essential. You should not limit your love but protect it.
Sometimes, unconditional love means letting go—stepping back when staying would hurt more than leaving. It means recognizing that loving someone doesn’t mean abandoning yourself.
The highest version of unconditional love is a two-way street. It’s when both people commit to being their best for each other, placing conditions on themselves to create space for real love to grow. When they fail, they try again because they value the relationship.
However, I think it’s possible to love someone, continue loving them, and let them go. The love didn’t leave just because the relationship changed course.
Unconditional love cannot go one way. It requires both people. This kind of love frees both people to love deeply, safely, and without fear. It’s unconditional—but with a foundation that makes it sustainable.
So, I guess I wrote all this out to say that I do think unconditional love is possible. If both partners are committed and share that unconditional love, anything is possible. Does that make me a hypocrite? Maybe. I see the irony—there’s still a condition. But we have to start somewhere.
So, Where Do We Go From Here?
Start with this…love isn’t black and white. It’s not unconditional or nothing. Healthy love lives in the gray area. It’s about caring deeply while still respecting your own boundaries. Love them, but don’t lose yourself in the process.
Set expectations. Talk about what you need and what you can give to be a better partner. It’s not selfish—it’s survival. Accept their flaws, but don’t ignore red flags. True love isn’t about ignoring the hard stuff. It’s about working through it without losing your self-worth. Balance is messy, but it’s where love thrives.
Theresa Bedford is a lifestyle and relationship writer with a passion for self-development and to live life to the fullest. She writes about relationships, mindfulness, and simple living. Her work has been seen on the AP newswire, MSN, Wealth of Geeks, Media Decision, and more.
