We give friendships a very special meaning. We ignore the signs of a toxic friend, but the same signs we immediately acknowledge in a romantic relationship.
This should not be a thing. Friendships have the same or even a bigger effect on how we feel and behave every single day.
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Here are the signs to be aware of a toxic friendship.
1. They get jealous of you.
Jealousy is the first sign of a toxic friend. Have you ever been extremely happy about a thing that you did and you were proud of?
Maybe you did great on a school test, or you found a great gf/bf that you get along really well, or you got a high-paid job. You would expect your friend to be happy about your success, but instead, they get overly jealous and they make you feel bad about it.
You might enjoy: How to Insult a Toxic Person (15 Toxic Comebacks!)
2. They underestimate you.
A toxic friend isn’t your biggest fan on Earth. They seem supportive just to be seen as one. They tell you that you can’t do certain things, they don’t have faith in you and they don’t believe you can do it. Hearing those things from a so-called friend will have you second-guessing your abilities.
Doubting yourself is a bad habit that I still struggle to this day. I wrote an article about it. You should check it out.
3. They think that their problem is bigger than yours.
Even if your problem is significantly larger than theirs, they won’t listen to it. They’ll try and make it seem that if their problem isn’t solved immediately, the end of the world will come. They always play the victim in their own lives and they have the special power of making other people feel sorry and responsible for them.
4. They don’t understand/admit their mistakes.
We as humans, we’re not perfect. It is in our nature to make mistakes. One of the best traits to have as a person is to understand when you did a mistake and openly admit it. But toxic people lack this trait. They won’t understand the mistake they’ve made, even after you’d explained them a thousand times. The worst part is that, even if they understand their mistake, they won’t openly admit it, instead they’ll try to justify their mistake by blaming your behavior.
Interacting with toxic people every day is very energy-demanding. It fills you up with a lot of stress. In this article, I wrote about common bad ways people deal with it and their solutions.
5. They are obsessively needy.
They want to be all the time with you. It seems that they can’t be alone for a single moment. They always want to text them back as soon as they text you, or else they get mad at you for not responding fast. A toxic friend doesn’t understand that your life includes other things, such as work, relationship, family, etc. and they can’t always have the center of your attention. This behavior comes from the insecurity they have that they feel awkward when they’re alone and don’t know what to do.
6. They don’t respect you and your choices.
People, in general, are allowed to have different opinions about a topic. This doesn’t seem to be the case for toxic friends when they don’t respect your opinions and judge your choices. They think that they always know better than you and that you always have to listen to them.
7. They get jealous of your other friends.
They get mad when you have plans with other people, and they tend to think that they have to be your one and only friend.
8. When you need them the most, they aren’t there for you.
When something tragic happens in your life and you want a helping hand or just a person to listen to what you have in your mind, a toxic friend won’t be there for you. They’ll be busy with other things and they won’t give you their 100% focus and attention.
9. They talk badly behind your back.
Another sign of a toxic friend is that they pretend to be your best friend in front of you, but behind your back, they say bad things. They’ll tell other people your secrets but won’t admit it.
10. They cause drama.
Toxic people are drama-magnets. Whenever they go, chaos occurs. Even if they don’t trigger it by themselves, which is rare.
11. They make you feel bad about yourself.
They purposefully say things to make you feel bad, so they feel better about themselves. That way they feed their huge ego, and by saying bad things to you, their focus goes away from their own flows. It’s a way to distract their brain from doing things to actually better themselves.
12. After being around them, you feel mentally exhausted.
They drain all of your social battery. After you hang with them for a while, instead of feeling positive and uplifted; as you should from interaction with friends; you feel bad about yourself and your self-esteem and happiness are compromised.
If a large portion of this list is applicable to any of your friend’s traits, then you should consider if they bring you any value in your life. See my article on How To Get Rid Of Toxic Friends