27 Good Comebacks for Kids: Roasts, Jokes, and Insults!

Best Comebacks for Kids - what to say to bullies

Let’s talk about some clever comebacks for kids. Do you ever feel like your kids need comebacks for every situation?

In this blog post, we will share some of the most clever kid insults, jokes, and one-liners that your child can use to put their opponents in their place.

It can be tough to come up with witty comebacks on the spot, especially when they’re under pressure.

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That’s why I’ve compiled a list of some of the best roasts for kids!

Whether they’re dealing with insults or just trying to make someone laugh, these one-liners are sure to get the job done.

These comebacks will help your child stand up for themselves and make them feel confident in any situation.

Kids can be bullies, and sometimes it seems like they’re just looking for an opportunity to tease or make fun of someone.

But if you’re the target of a bully, there are a few things you can say to stand up for yourself.

Here are some good comebacks for kids that can help diffuse a bullying situation:

Good Comebacks for Kids

27 Best Comebacks for Kids

Being a kid can be tough. You’re constantly being bombarded with new challenges, both in school and out.

And sometimes, things can get overwhelming.

But one thing that can always help you feel better is a good comeback.

Whether it’s shutting down a bully or just making your friends laugh, a well-timed comeback can go a long way.

So next time you’re feeling lost for words, try one of these good roasts for kids:

  • I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
  • Too bad your personality doesn’t match your face.
  • I would call you a retard, but that would be insulting to retards.
  • I don’t know what makes you so stupid, but it works!
  • You must’ve been born on a highway. That’s where most accidents happen.
  • I’d give you a nasty look, but you already have one.
  • Can you repeat that for me because I want to remember the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard?
  • You have your entire life to be a jerk. Why not take today off?
  • I’m sorry, I don’t talk to strangers.
  • You’d leave if I threw a stick, right?
  • A pretty face is nothing if you have an ugly heart.
  • No, thank you. I’m not allowed to have candy from strangers.
  • Who let you out of your cage?
  • I bet you were up all night trying to come up with that one.
  • That’s why God created the middle finger.
  • That’s why no one likes you.
  • Do you know what sound I like? The sound of you shutting up.
  • Where’s your off button?
  • If you ran like your mouth, you would be in good shape.
  • Be nice to nerds. In the future, you’ll most likely work for one.
  • Look who is talking.
  • It is amazing what showering can do for a person. You should try it.
  • I love the sound you make when you are quiet.
  • Zombies are brain eaters. You’ll be safe.
  • I could agree with you, but we would both be wrong.
  • I’ve been called worse by better.
  • I feel sorry for you.

With these roasts and comebacks in your arsenal, you’ll never struggle for the perfect comeback again.

You might enjoy: 11 Things to Say When Someone Says “You Don’t Have Friends”

If Your Child Is Bullied, Here’s Some Helpful Advice

father teaching his son good comebacks for kids

Being the object of teasing and bullying is never fun, but it’s especially difficult for kids who don’t have quick comebacks.

If your child is struggling to come up with responses to bullies, here are a few ideas to help them out.

First, encourage them to use humor.

Bullies often target kids who they perceive as weak or different, so turning the tables with a clever quip can be an effective way to disarm them.

Second, teach them to stand up for themselves.

This doesn’t mean getting into a physical altercation, but simply speaking up in a calm and assertive way can be enough to put a bully on the defensive.

Finally, encourage your child to take the high road and ignore the bully altogether.

Oftentimes, bullies are looking for attention and will eventually give up if they’re not getting any reaction from their victims.

Helping your child develop a repertoire of comebacks will give them the confidence they need to stand up to bullies and stand up for themselves.

Read next: 12+ Best Comebacks to Teachers – Use These Witty Comebacks

27 Good Comebacks for Kids: Roasts, Jokes, and Insults – Final Thoughts

Being a kid can be tough.

You’re constantly getting teased by your classmates, you don’t have any control over your life, and adults always seem to be telling you what to do.

It’s no wonder that kids can sometimes feel like they’re powerless.

However, I hope these good roasts and comebacks for kids can help level the playing field.

27 Good comebacks for kids
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  1. (Look at her bum and say)
    “Thought Pankake day was yesterday

  2. These roasts are so good 😝 bc I am using them on my bully’s 😏🤪

  3. today I roasted someone so hard I said you’re so ugly you make onions cry

  4. Maximillian says:

    because of this, this will make my frenemy speechless

  5. there this kid with a gap and i said 2 things ur gap so big i can fit a dollar trough that, ur gap so big is more seperated then u and ur dad

  6. @Alex, Damnnn\

  7. Ninja master says:


  8. your so fat as a rat and you fart where ever you sat and you didn’t even know that

  9. nah jit trippin

  10. where is your off button


  12. @Jordan, Really though

  13. @EMERSYN,

  14. they should have added on their yo mama so fat her heart rate spelled whopper

  15. I’ll be using the zombie one😜

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