How to Be More Masculine in a Relationship in 5 Steps


In today’s world, being confident in your masculinity and only doing what you want as a man is viewed as toxic, selfish, and irresponsible.

But masculinity is a crucial aspect of life.

So, how do we be masculine in a way that is “appropriate” for our relationship?

There are many traditional ideas about what it means to be masculine. For some, being masculine means being strong and stoic, someone who never shows emotion or weakness.

Others believe that being masculine means being the breadwinner, the one who is always in control. However, there is no one right way to be masculine.

What matters most is that you feel comfortable in your own skin and that you are able to express yourself in a way that is true to you.

If you are interested in becoming more masculine in your relationship, here are a few tips to get you started.

Keep on reading to learn how to be more masculine in a relationship in 5 simple steps.

How to Be More Masculine in a Relationship


The simple steps I’ve outlined here are not theories that have yet to be tested; rather, they are tried-and-true approaches to dealing with life’s challenges.

The fact that you’re reading this page proves that you want to be more masculine in your relationship.

You want to physically and mentally satisfy both yourself and your partner.

Having the desire to improve yourself and your relationship is an admirable quality. Many people don’t have this desire.

Without further ado, here are 5 simple ways to be more masculine in your relationship:

1. Be more assertive.

Make your own decisions and take your own path, often without allowing others (including your girlfriend) to influence you.

But this doesn’t mean that you don’t have to be a dictator. When necessary, cultivate decisive action and take command without being overly forceful or aggressive.

The Feminine values this quality in a partner; when the Masculine takes the lead, the Feminine can relax in trust and respects how much thought you put into any decision-making process. 

Regardless of what modern feminism tells you, women’s basic instinctive desire is to feel:

  1. safe/protected
  2. beautiful
  3. appreciated

To be honest, it all boils down to caveman mentality with a modern twist.

She wants to know you can protect her from predators and that you are smitten by her beauty, which leads to you not looking for another mate (i.e appreciate her).

2. Don’t suppress your feminine side.

Every man has a gentler, more vulnerable, and emotional side. We call this feminine, but in my opinion, this is not a feminine side. This is a human trait that we all possess.

It is extremely unfortunate and oppressive that we have polarized “male” and “female” traits and attempted to deny some of these qualities to each gender.

There is a distinction to be made between toxic and healthy feminine men.

In my experience, men who are healthy and feminine are able to communicate their emotions without fear or attachment to the outcome.

Toxic feminine men act like toxic women/little girls; they are controlling, hide behind illusions, play mind games, are catty, passive-aggressive, manipulative, and unable to express their desires directly.

Because of the polarity clash and their inability to move things forward, these types usually end up with a toxic emasculating woman or converting a feminine woman into a masculine one who has to ‘babysit’ them.

The manliest thing a man can do is to be sensitive to his partner.

Is your wife having a particularly difficult day? Run a bath for her and light some candles, then leave her alone to de-stress.

Take out the trash if it is full. Vacuum the floor if it is dirty. Offer to go grocery shopping for her.

3. Take on the role of the man in the relationship.

Fulfill your role as the man in the relationship, which means not being the patriarch but instead providing guidance and leadership so the woman feels safe and can thus be more herself.

Walk on her right side, open the door for her, wrap your arm around her on the couch, walk the dog, and treat her like a queen.

A dominant part of the relationship is required; an equal relationship is not possible, and in most cases, the woman is dissatisfied with having to be the dominant part.

That’s why you’ll be able to do it.

4. Be more attentive.

Bring attention, reassurance, and understanding to your relationship if your partner has a feminine core.

Make them feel seen, safe, and understood instead of invisible, unsafe, and misunderstood.

If you imagine the feminine energy as water (free, flowing, and unrestricted), the masculine energy is the cup that protects and supports it.

Be loving and caring, and take heartfelt actions to surprise your girlfriend.

She may want you to stand up for her more, or to take better care of her; she may want you to engage in more physical activities, or to make more male friends.

5. Be more authentic.

The best way to be more masculine in a relationship is to be true to yourself.

Being more authentic means being able to take care of yourself. You are eager to learn, improve, accept responsibility, and keep your word.

You respect others and are willing to watch out for and care for those who are weaker or less able to care for themselves.

You are humble and do not seek recognition. You are willing to take a step back and let others take care of themselves if they so desire.

Authentic masculinity is an acceptance of man’s true nature and his desire to find his place in himself, his family, and society.

Simply put, authenticity means that you are true to your own personality, values, and spirit, regardless of the pressure to act otherwise.

You are truthful with yourself, your partner, and others, and you accept responsibility for your mistakes.

Your values, ideals, and actions are all in sync.

Final Thoughts

As you can see, being more masculine in a relationship boils down to a few simple personality changes.

With terms like toxic masculinity and patriarchy, society has attempted to limit masculinity in men.

Those terms do not accurately represent the vast majority of men who do good in the world.

To summarize, the 5 ways to be more masculine in a relationship are:

  • Be more assertive.
  • Don’t be afraid to show your feminine side.
  • Act as the man of the relationship.
  • Be more attentine.
  • Be more authentic.

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