23+ of the Best Comebacks for Insults!


There’s nothing quite like a sharp comeback to an insult.

Not only does it take the wind out of the sails of the person who dished it out, but it can also be incredibly satisfying.

Of course, thinking of a witty retort on the spot can be difficult. That’s why it’s always good to have a few comebacks up your sleeve for when someone crosses the line.

Witty Comebacks for Insults


If you’re the type of person who loves a good comeback, then you know there’s nothing more satisfying than clapping back at someone who’s trying to put you down.

When someone hurls an insult your way, it can be tough to think of a witty comeback on the spot.

Unfortunately, comebacks don’t always come naturally, which is why it’s helpful to have a few in your back pocket.

So, with a little preparation, you can be ready for anything!

Here are some of the best comebacks for insults:

  1. Sorry, I didn’t realize I was speaking to an expert on the subject.
  2. I’m sorry, did I roll my eyes out loud?
  3. Your a** must be envious of all the sh*t that comes out of your mouth.
  4. I hope your day is as pleasant as you are.
  5. Man, it’s no surprise that everyone talks behind your back.
  6. I guess those penis enlargement pills are effective. You’re twice the d*ck you were yesterday.
  7. All I know is one of us is right and the other one is you.
  8. Here’s a tissue. You have a little bullsh*t on your lip.
  9. You have your entire life to be a jerk. Why not take today off?
  10. I’d give you a nasty look, but you already have one.
  11. Look who’s talking.
  12. Ouch. That hurt almost as much as looking at your face.
  13. So, if I Googled “jerk,” would your picture come up?
  14. Some babies were dropped on their heads, but you were clearly thrown against a wall.
  15. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
  16. It looks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
  17. Let me know when you find a brain somewhere; I’d love to hear from you then!
  18. If you were any more wrong, you’d be right!
  19. I’ll be sure to remember that…the next time I’m talking to a wall.
  20. Aaaand that’s why no one likes you.
  21. You’re free to leave because stupidity isn’t a crime.
  22. Your face must be healing the world if laughter is the best medicine.
  23. Where’s your off button?

Insults are a way for someone to try and put you down. But, with a sharp comeback, you can easily turn the tables on them.

With comebacks like these, you’ll be sure to have the last word in any argument.

How do you give a comeback?


When someone insulted you, it can be hard to come up with a witty comeback on the spot. However, there are a few ways to make sure you’re always prepared with a sharp retort.

First, try to keep your cool and think of a cutting remark that will leave your tormentor speechless.

If you can’t think of anything, try one of these classics: “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that. Could you speak a little louder? I don’t want to miss anything you have to say.” or “I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I only understand English.”

Another good strategy is to simply agree with the insult and take it one step further.

For example, if someone calls you stupid, you could say “Yes, I am quite stupid. But at least I’m not as ugly as you are.”

By using humor and quick thinking, you can easily turn the tables on anyone who tries to put you down.

Read next: 22+ Witty Comebacks for Rude People

Final Thoughts

So, the next time someone insults you, remember these comebacks.

Not only will they make the insult seem childish and unoriginal, but they’ll also help boost your self-confidence.

Walk away from the situation feeling proud that you handled it like a boss.

And who knows? You might even convince the person who insulted you to think twice before doing it again!

Have you ever used any of these comebacks for insults? Let us know in the comments below.

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