The One Question Test to Know if Something Deserves Your Energy
You’re exhausted. I get it—sometimes, we say yes before we even think.
I’ve done it a hundred times. Agreed to plans I didn’t want to do. Took on an extra project when my plate was already full. Said yes out of guilt, pressure, or just the awkwardness of saying no.
And sometimes, it drained me. Not because I was doing too much, but because I was spending energy on things that didn’t matter. The things I wished I had said no to.
It was stress I didn’t need–obligations that weren’t really mine to carry.
But all that changed when i started asking myself one question. One question to cut through the guilt, the pressure, and the overthinking.
It’s simple: If I say no, what’s the worst that happens?
I’ve learned that this one question can change everything. And once you start asking it, you’ll see just how much of your energy you’ve been giving away for sometimes, no good reason.
The Problem–There Are Energy Leaks Everywhere
Every yes–whether you want to say it or not–comes with a cost. Every commitment is a trade-off, an opportunity cost. Saying yes to one thing often means saying no to something else, and the price you pay isn’t always worth it.
The cost can be small—maybe just a minor annoyance or a wasted evening. But other times? It’s high. It can cost you:
- Health—sacrificing sleep, workouts, or mental peace because you felt obligated to do something else.
- Happiness—missing out on things you actually enjoy because you were too busy pleasing others.
- Success—spreading yourself too thin and failing to meet deadlines, hit personal goals, or grow in the ways that matter.
That doesn’t mean you can say no to everything. Sometimes, saying yes is necessary—to keep your job, support your family, or uphold responsibilities that truly matter.
Some obligations come with real consequences—missing a deadline, disappointing the wrong person, or damaging an important relationship. The key is knowing which yeses are essential and which ones are simply draining you for no good reason.
The trick is knowing the difference. When you say yes, it should be intentional, not automatic. It should be because it truly matters, not because you’re afraid of saying no. And that’s where one simple question changes everything.
The One-Question Test to Know if Something Deserves Your Energy
Before saying yes to anything, ask yourself: If I say no, what’s the worst that happens?
That’s it—one question.
This one question:
- forces you to think about real consequences, not imagined ones.
- helps you separate true obligations from guilt-driven commitments.
- exposes the things that don’t actually matter in the grand scheme of things.
Most of the time, the worst that happens isn’t as bad as you think. Maybe someone is slightly disappointed. Maybe you feel a little awkward. Maybe you miss out on something you weren’t excited about anyway. But real consequences? They’re rare.
This question cuts through overthinking. It helps you stop spending energy on things that don’t serve you–so you can finally say yes to the things that do.
How to Use This in Real Life
Now that you have the question let’s apply it. Every decision—big or small—can be run through this filter: If I say no, what’s the worst that happens?
Think about a work opportunity that seems impressive but feels overwhelming. Will saying no hurt your career, or is it just your ego telling you to take on more than you need to? If it has real consequences, you might find a way to make it work. But if it’s just another thing to add to your plate for no real gain, it’s not worth your energy.
Now consider the relationships in your life. Maybe there’s a friendship that drains you more than it supports you. If you start saying no more often, does that set a boundary that protects your time, or are you just avoiding guilt? If someone only shows up when they need something, stepping back can reveal whether the relationship is worth keeping.
Social obligations work the same way. You don’t want to go, but you feel like you have to. If you say no, will it truly affect your relationships, or are you just afraid of looking bad? Most of the time, people won’t care nearly as much as you think. And if they do, is that really your problem?
And then there are the favors—the ones you don’t want to do but agree to anyway. If you say no, will this person never speak to you again, or will they just find someone else? If your connection depends on you constantly saying yes, maybe it’s time to rethink it.
The moment you start running your choices through this test, you stop making decisions based on guilt, pressure, or fear. You start making them based on what actually matters.
The Energy Audit
Now, take this a step further. Open your calendar. Look at your upcoming commitments—everything you’ve already said yes to. One by one, ask yourself: If I say no to this, what’s the worst that happens?
Some things matter. Missing a deadline at work could cost you. Skipping an important event for a loved one could hurt them.
But be honest—how many things on your calendar are there simply because you didn’t want to deal with the discomfort of saying no? How many of them could disappear without actually affecting your life in any meaningful way?
If the worst thing that happens is guilt, awkwardness, or a minor inconvenience, it’s probably something you don’t need to be doing. If saying no would have real, tangible consequences—losing your job, damaging a relationship you value, or setting yourself back on an important goal—then it’s worth keeping.
Theresa Bedford is a minimal-ish advocate, storyteller, and wellness enthusiast who believes that simplicity is the key to wellness and a more intentional, fulfilling life. After realizing she was spending too much time searching for things—both physically and mentally—she embraced minimalism, not as a rigid rule, but as a way to create space for what truly matters.
