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Have you ever felt that you aren’t good enough? And that no matter what you did, that you will never be good enough?
Are you sometimes sabotaging your self-esteem with bad thoughts?
What you’re feeling now is something that most people have experienced in their lives, or experiencing right now. You are not alone.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”
In our modern society, where everyone’s success is in full display, where we get so much pressure to become successful, it’s so easy to feel like we are inadequate.
From comparing the amount of money they have to how many followers they have on Social Media, we end up setting unrealistic goals, expectations, and pressure on ourselves to be like others.
We tend to be really harsh to ourselves, and we don’t deserve that.
I’m not a guru, but I’m really committed to this path of constantly learning and growing, and I’d love to take you along for the ride. Here are a few things to try to remember when the feeling of “I’m not good enough” pops up in your mind:
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1. You can silence your inner critic.
Your inner critic shouldn’t live your life for you. This little voice has no right to control your decisions and actions.
What I’ve found working for myself is:
Whenever it pops up in my head, I’m mentally saying: “STOP” and/or “We’re not going that negative path again!”
I’ve found that the sooner I stop my inner critic, the easier it is to silence it.
2. Don’t Negotiate With Your Mind.
Your mind is the best salesperson in the entire universe. Read that again.
I bet that somewhere deep inside of you know that you need to work on yourself. To not eat that extra 4 slices of pizza, or to not watch an entire season, but study instead. We all have that gut feeling.
But, we fall victim to a great marketing tool called the brain, or the little voice.
It tells us that it’s okay to eat 2 pizzas in a single sitting or to procrastinate studying for the exam, or finishing that work project.
It’s the voice that tells you to hit the snooze button in the morning and sleep in until noon. You know what I’m referring to.
You know what you have to do, don’t listen to it.
3. Stop comparing yourself With others.
“Comparing yourself to others is the root to all unhappiness”
There is always going to be someone who has more happiness than you, more money, has achieved more in life, or is just better than you. It’s a hard pill to swallow.
Also, don’t compare your 2nd step to someone’s 100th.
Someone gave me this wisdom, not long ago: ‘Don’t compare your inside with other peoples outside.’
These comparisons are not only bad for your mental health, but they also make you ignore all the wonderful things you have in your own life.
The number one reason of feeling not good enough for me was Social Media.
People Only share their best moments on social media.
You need to remember this the next time you see a model with the perfect body on Instagram or a man with 20 cars and a mansion partying all day long.
Most of the time they won’t share with you their bad moments, the times where they cry, the times where they are comparing themselves to others, and most importantly the struggle they had to fight to come this way.
Everyone has bad days, even celebrities and influencers.
So stop comparing your lows with someone’s highs. It will only make you feel worse.
Limit your time on social media
I’ve found that, at least for me, whenever I spent a large amount of time on Social Media, after a while I’m starting to feel that I’m not good enough and my self-esteem drops.
Without even wanting to, I fall into the comparison trap I mentioned above.
While social media can be a force for good, it can also bring negativity into your life. I notice that lots of people whine and complain on Facebook, and seeing negativity in almost every comment section doesn’t do well for your subconscious mind.
4. Look back to all the times you were enough.
Take a pen and a piece of paper.
Sit down and really think about all the times you felt enough in your life. All the times where you wouldn’t feel ready or sure about something, but still took action and did well or way better than expected.
Look back in times where your confidence was through the sky. Write down a few memories like this.
So, whenever you’re having a bad day and the thought of “I’m not good enough” keeps popping into your head, bring that note out and remember all the times where your confidence was sky-high. This will change your outlook drastically.
I think that one of the most important things to do when you do not feel good enough is to do this exercise of remembering your highs instead of getting drowned in your lows.
It’s hard to believe in yourself. The toughest prison you’ll ever be in is your own mind
“Don’t compromise yourself – you’re all you have.”― John Grisham
5. Open Up Your emotions/Let It All out.
When you have limiting beliefs popping in your head, keeping them there can make you even worse and stress will build up.
When we’re having a bad day and we get stressed out, our bodies produce cortisol, also known as the stress hormone. You need to let it all out.
There are 2 ways you can open up your emotions:
- Have a genuine conversation with a friend or someone who is close to you.
Vent about the thoughts you’re having about yourself. Let them add their opinion. Oftentimes, the only thing we need is someone to listen to us and to share their perspective.
This will help you see your issue from a different lens.
- Journal about it.
If you don’t have someone close to you- or you don’t want to talk about it with another person- then journaling is a great way to let all of your feelings and thoughts into a piece of paper.
This way you can find some clarity inside of you because you can see what’s bothering you and you can work on improving them.
6. Be grateful for what you already have.
Whenever you zoom in and only focus on your flaws and mistakes, remember all the beautiful things you have in your life that you take for granted.
You are alive, you are able to breathe, you have a roof above your head, food on your table. Notice the small things in life that most times you don’t appreciate enough, and be grateful about them. Be grateful because you have the choice to work on yourself and improve your life in so many ways.
Abundance, to believe that you have everything you want already, is the key to happiness.
7. Don’t Beat Yourself Up.
For the biggest part of my life I’d always beat myself up for past mistakes, things I should have said or done differently, or to just “motivate” myself to do things. Even today sometimes I catch myself doing that.
Listen, beating yourself up will do more bad than good. The past is what it is, the past. It happened and you cannot change it.
But, you can and I highly encourage you to change your today, in order to change your future.
Also, there are many other ways to motivate yourself to do stuff. You don’t need to beat yourself up and speak badly to you.
You would never speak the same to a child or your best friend, the same way you speak to yourself, right?
Telling yourself what a failure you are won’t make you any more successful. Telling yourself you’re worthless and unlovable won’t make you feel any more worthy or lovable.
So, why you do it anyway?
8. You Deserve to feel Loved & Cared For.
“We accept the love we think we deserve.”
― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Remember this the next time you’ll get drown in self-doubt and the feeling of not being good enough.
It’s difficult to accept love and understanding from others when you’re in a state of anger, shame, anxiety, or depression.
Oftentimes, when we get upset with ourselves we believe that we deserve the least amount of love, but actually, we need it the most.
So, don’t let anger and sadness stop you from accepting the support and compassion of others.
9. Improve your self-esteem and confidence.
I always hear people saying that they weren’t born confident and that they wish to be so. I’m totally guilty of this. I would see other people wayyyy more confident than me and I would just be so envious and pity about it.
I would say to myself: “I’m not confident enough”
Let me tell you the secret sauce of confidence. No one and I mean it, NO ONE is born confident. Every single person that you look up to, they’re not born that way.
The only way a person becomes successful is by doing these 4 things.
The 4-Step Process To Become More Confident.
Step 1: Just start.
Even if you don’t feel ready, just start. Start working out, start eating healthy, start that business that you want, start to improve your social skills. Whatever it is, just start.
Every master and every successful person started at the exact place that you are right now. They doubted themselves.
A football player who only watches other people play football will only get so far. If they want to improve, they have to step in the field.
So step in your own field and start working on your limiting beliefs now.
But not forget tip #7, don’t beat yourself up.
Step 2: Get Results.
Each result is a proof that your limiting beliefs are not actually true.
YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH.
And you’re progressing towards your goals each and every day.
Step 3: Build Your Confidence.
Each time you find proof, your confidence automatically grows, because you are actually making your comfort zone bigger.
The size of your comfort zone is directly proportionate to the size of your confidence.
Bigger comfort zone=More confidence.
Now that you are getting results, and you see that you are getting a bit more confident every time you get a result, don’t stop. Pile it up again and again.
Step 4: Stack up that confidence.
Grow your comfort zone, do things that seem scary and watch your confidence shoot through the roof.
You may wonder: This is some helpful information, but how can I make all of these work? How can I implement these tips in my day-to-day life whenever I feel that I’m not good enough?
I’ve got a gift for you…
A free step-by-step checklist with all the tips mentioned in this article you can download so you can have it with you wherever you are, or print it out and put it where you can see it every day.